I am sorry it has been a while since I last wrote.
As the summer draws to an end I am filled with a lot of feelings that mothers go through when they have to leave their children to go back to work. I have the trifecta of messed up emotions brewing a savage storm in an already disquieted mind.
Sadness: I am flat out, hands down depressed about leaving my little girl again. As much as I love my career, it pales in comparison to how much I love being with her. I cry myself to sleep at night as each of these days count down. The thing I will miss the most is napping with her everyday...listening to her breathing in my ear as we both drift off to sleep.
Anger/Envy: I wish I lived a life where I didn't need to have a full time job. I would spend every waking moment with her gladly.
Guilt: That's the big one here ladies and gents. My girl needs me. She has made such improvement with eye contact, responding to her name and to following directions. But her speech is regressing again. And it breaks my heart. If I could go back to work saying, "Oh she is talking more now." I think it would be easier. But instead I feel like I am abandoning her to my husband and my parents when she is struggling the most.
I will say this, I do feel like the lack of progress that she is making in speech has more to do with her stubborn personality than her autism. She is going to be a natural pain in the you know what. For example, her speech teacher tried over and over again to get her to say "Oh" for open. Now Ava was doing this consistently for some time until recently. Well after the teacher gave up all hope and was telling me the tale at the end of the session, my daughter looked right at her teacher and clearly said "Oh". Then she turned back to her toy. If you could have seen the look on my girl's face...she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. I wouldn't have blamed the teacher if she had punt kicked my kid across the room at that moment! Luckily the woman laughed it off.
I am trying to find the humor in the hardest moments and the fortune in the heartbreak. It's always there...you just have to keep looking until you see it.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Ben X
I was going to post about my daughter although there is little to report. Then, just as I turned on my laptop a foreign film called Ben X appeared on my television. I ended up watching it. It was an amazing movie! The story revolves around a teenager who has Asperger's syndrome who is bullied every day. He retreats into an online world for solace. It managed to be unique in it's ability to make you feel and see life through the main character's eyes while addressing an ongoing problem world wide of cyber-bullying in a very interesting and thought provoking way. I usually have a hard time watching movies with subtitles but this movie kept my attention in a way that few movies ever do.
I HIGHLY suggest you rent this film but do not google it. I am glad I didn't until after I watched the entire film. It has some details that you do not want spoiled. I rarely praise films these days but as a mom facing the fact that my daughter may end up seeing the world in a different way, this movie spoke to me on a very personal level. But had I seen this movie years ago I would be singing its praises anyway. Amazing film.
I HIGHLY suggest you rent this film but do not google it. I am glad I didn't until after I watched the entire film. It has some details that you do not want spoiled. I rarely praise films these days but as a mom facing the fact that my daughter may end up seeing the world in a different way, this movie spoke to me on a very personal level. But had I seen this movie years ago I would be singing its praises anyway. Amazing film.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Dealing With Change
I have to say I am pleasantly surprised by how well my little girl had dealt with the changes that have been thrown at her. In less that one month she moved to the downstairs apartment and started a very regimented schedule with various service providers. She has handled it like a champ.
The move was the tough part. She was confused by the change and by the constant activity going on around her. She did not sleep well at all for the first few days. Eventually though she settled in and did well. She loves her room and her play area in the living room!
I was so worried about how she would react to her new teachers. I worried for no reason...she loves them. There are 3 alternating ABA providers ( applied behavioral analysis) and 1 speech teacher. Her summer schedule has been :
Wake up and eat breakfast. I give her her Omega 3 supplement (coromega) which I swear by. After she started it she began signing "Give me" and "More". We had been trying to get her to sign for months now.
ABA provider arrives sometime in this period. The time varies depending on the day.
Sippy cup of milk and some water then off to Nap Land.
Speech provider arrives (Time varies on the day)
The rest of the day varies on our personal schedules. But she is a late owl and the earliest I can get her to bed is 8 pm (It's usually closer to 9)
I crack up when I see her reaction to the doorbell these days. She lights up and goes "Oh!" and hurries to the door with me to let her teachers in. Usually she leads them to her room and sits on her little chair at her little table with a book in hand so they can get started! She tries to steal their toys when they aren't looking though!
Having cleared this hurdle I find we are approaching another. We are going on vacation soon and again I find myself fretting about how she will adjust. There is always something to worry about it seems but I have been doing well with my promise to myself about enjoying my time with my princess.
ALL of the providers have been wonderful thus far and they are ALL optimistic about her chances. They are great with her and know how to navigate the little fits she has when she does not want to do something. Luckily she is usually easily redirected.
Not all families are so lucky. As a former SE-IT (Special Education Itinerant Teacher...works one on one with children with special needs) I have had students who were self injurious and one who would attempt to injure me! Despite the hardships these children faced and the hardships I faced in teaching them, one of my fondest memories came from working with one of those children.
I came to the client's apartment and worked with the child. We will call him M. M and I had a great day and I was on a teaching high. As I packed up to leave his 9 year old older sister came to me and said "Miss Linda! Thank you so much!!!" With tears in her eyes she hugged me as if I was Hannah Montana! When I asked her why she was thanking me she said, " I played ball with M yesterday. It was the first time he ever played anything with me!" By teaching him how to take turns I gave a brother and sister their first play bonding experience. I kept a cool and professional demeanor as I hugged her back and told her he was lucky to have her for a sister. But let me tell you...I was bawling like a 2 year old as soon as I hit 86th street!
Children like M and like my daughter face varying difficulties. No one can predict their future any more than we can predict our own. I do know that the human mind and heart are resilient and amazing things and are capable of achieving their highest potentials as long as they are surrounded by people who love them. Change occurs...sometimes in quick blasts and other times in tiny ebbs and flows. The ability of adaptation children have never ceases to amaze me.
The move was the tough part. She was confused by the change and by the constant activity going on around her. She did not sleep well at all for the first few days. Eventually though she settled in and did well. She loves her room and her play area in the living room!
I was so worried about how she would react to her new teachers. I worried for no reason...she loves them. There are 3 alternating ABA providers ( applied behavioral analysis) and 1 speech teacher. Her summer schedule has been :
Wake up and eat breakfast. I give her her Omega 3 supplement (coromega) which I swear by. After she started it she began signing "Give me" and "More". We had been trying to get her to sign for months now.
ABA provider arrives sometime in this period. The time varies depending on the day.
Sippy cup of milk and some water then off to Nap Land.
Speech provider arrives (Time varies on the day)
The rest of the day varies on our personal schedules. But she is a late owl and the earliest I can get her to bed is 8 pm (It's usually closer to 9)
I crack up when I see her reaction to the doorbell these days. She lights up and goes "Oh!" and hurries to the door with me to let her teachers in. Usually she leads them to her room and sits on her little chair at her little table with a book in hand so they can get started! She tries to steal their toys when they aren't looking though!
Having cleared this hurdle I find we are approaching another. We are going on vacation soon and again I find myself fretting about how she will adjust. There is always something to worry about it seems but I have been doing well with my promise to myself about enjoying my time with my princess.
ALL of the providers have been wonderful thus far and they are ALL optimistic about her chances. They are great with her and know how to navigate the little fits she has when she does not want to do something. Luckily she is usually easily redirected.
Not all families are so lucky. As a former SE-IT (Special Education Itinerant Teacher...works one on one with children with special needs) I have had students who were self injurious and one who would attempt to injure me! Despite the hardships these children faced and the hardships I faced in teaching them, one of my fondest memories came from working with one of those children.
I came to the client's apartment and worked with the child. We will call him M. M and I had a great day and I was on a teaching high. As I packed up to leave his 9 year old older sister came to me and said "Miss Linda! Thank you so much!!!" With tears in her eyes she hugged me as if I was Hannah Montana! When I asked her why she was thanking me she said, " I played ball with M yesterday. It was the first time he ever played anything with me!" By teaching him how to take turns I gave a brother and sister their first play bonding experience. I kept a cool and professional demeanor as I hugged her back and told her he was lucky to have her for a sister. But let me tell you...I was bawling like a 2 year old as soon as I hit 86th street!
Children like M and like my daughter face varying difficulties. No one can predict their future any more than we can predict our own. I do know that the human mind and heart are resilient and amazing things and are capable of achieving their highest potentials as long as they are surrounded by people who love them. Change occurs...sometimes in quick blasts and other times in tiny ebbs and flows. The ability of adaptation children have never ceases to amaze me.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
First 48 hours...of EI
So far I have to say I am very happy with the providers my daughter is working with.
When you are dealing with providers, you will hear not just about the deficits your child faces but the strengths they possess as well. It has helped to hear these providers list off the same strengths I see in my child. I still get so caught up in her diagnosis that I begin to wonder if I am imagining these strengths or using them to tell myself, "Not my daughter!"
I think it is natural to have those thoughts sometimes. No one wants to be the parent in denial at the disservice of their own child. No one wants to accept their child is autistic either. So its a crazy dance where the choreographer keeps changing the steps each day and no one gives you the notes!
Being told my daughter is "borderline" PDD NOS is a struggle. It leaves me hope which is great in some ways but really difficult in others. A little piece of my heart keeps hoping for some "miracle cure" even though my mind knows better. The speech provider suggested Omega 3 supplements to stimulate speech. I fully intend to try this. But once again my heart is 10 steps ahead of my brain planning her revived speech. My brain knows better. My heart and head are war with each other and yet both sides are in my child's best interest. All I can do is take each day as it comes and hope all will work out well for my baby girl!
When you are dealing with providers, you will hear not just about the deficits your child faces but the strengths they possess as well. It has helped to hear these providers list off the same strengths I see in my child. I still get so caught up in her diagnosis that I begin to wonder if I am imagining these strengths or using them to tell myself, "Not my daughter!"
I think it is natural to have those thoughts sometimes. No one wants to be the parent in denial at the disservice of their own child. No one wants to accept their child is autistic either. So its a crazy dance where the choreographer keeps changing the steps each day and no one gives you the notes!
Being told my daughter is "borderline" PDD NOS is a struggle. It leaves me hope which is great in some ways but really difficult in others. A little piece of my heart keeps hoping for some "miracle cure" even though my mind knows better. The speech provider suggested Omega 3 supplements to stimulate speech. I fully intend to try this. But once again my heart is 10 steps ahead of my brain planning her revived speech. My brain knows better. My heart and head are war with each other and yet both sides are in my child's best interest. All I can do is take each day as it comes and hope all will work out well for my baby girl!
Friday, July 8, 2011
The Infamous IFSP Meeting...oooh...
Not so infamous really ;) Although when you write those types of things up they may feel that way!
Ok so as you travel along the yellow brick road of the spectrum undoubtedly you get to the stop known as the IFSP (or for older children the IEP) meeting. The IFSP meeting for early intervention is run through the Department of Health here in NY. An IEP meeting would be run through the Department of Education. While there are differences between the two, what makes them similar is what I am going to focus on for now.
1. You as a parent have a right to feel informed. This means that any parent who does not feel comfortable or knowledgeable with this whole process has the right and the responsibility to bring in anyone who might help them through the process. One example would be a parent advocate. As a teacher I have worked with advocates, friends of families who have gone through the process, one time even a medical professional attended a meeting with a parent.
There are many sites you can access on line to help you. Here are a few to start you out:
http://www.advocatesforchildren.org/
http://www.advocatesforchildren.org/pubs/ei.html
http://cochlearimplantonline.com/site/?p=3582 ( I know this is for the hard of hearing but the info is good for all ifsp/iep meetings!)
http://www.wrightslaw.com/
There is even an app (although I have never tried it) for the IEP checklist: http://www.peatc.org/peatc.cgim?template=IEPChecklistiPhone
2. These documents are legally binding. Although you can request to reconvene if you feel your child's needs are not being met, the annual IFSP/IEP meeting is your chance to make sure your voice is heard as well as your child's educators, providers, etc. As a teacher I have had times when a parent has disagreed with something I have felt. Let me assure you...I do not hold it against parents who avail themselves of their rights. As a mom I am doing the same for my child. All I suggest is you measure your ideas of what is best with the evidence before you. Some parents have fought for more services...some for less. The only times I have felt concerned was when it was obvious the parents were more concerned about the words "special education" than what a child needed. The good thing is that example is the rarity...most families strive to get the best for their children!
3. Go in prepared. Bring in evaluations, medical notes, written communications with educators, and whatever else you have that provides an accurate snapshot of your child's abilities and needs.
4. Don't be afraid to ask questions! This is your child's future and you have every reason to ask any and all questions you may have. Many parents feel intimidated by the amount of information thrown at them. I try to break my words down into non "teacher lingo" but not all teachers do that. Asking questions now can help you avoid being angry or upset with results later.
Now to talk about the process:
1. You will sign an attendance sheet stating you were present.
2. You will speak to providers, coordinators, psychologists or any other professional who is involved with your child. You will discuss the results of evaluations and these professionals will ask you questions about your child.
3. You will collaborate on goals pertaining to your child. Make sure you read through these. Many parents thumb through them and later are upset about a particular goal. If you find something a little "off" about a goal, now is the ideal time to discuss this.
4. Services will be assigned as needed.
5. When the meeting is over, a copy of the new IFSP/IEP will either be made for you or sent to you.
When you break it down...these meetings are not as overwhelming as they seem. It’s all about preparation and willingness to communicate. In the end you walk away with a tool to help your child reach his or her highest potential!
Ok so as you travel along the yellow brick road of the spectrum undoubtedly you get to the stop known as the IFSP (or for older children the IEP) meeting. The IFSP meeting for early intervention is run through the Department of Health here in NY. An IEP meeting would be run through the Department of Education. While there are differences between the two, what makes them similar is what I am going to focus on for now.
1. You as a parent have a right to feel informed. This means that any parent who does not feel comfortable or knowledgeable with this whole process has the right and the responsibility to bring in anyone who might help them through the process. One example would be a parent advocate. As a teacher I have worked with advocates, friends of families who have gone through the process, one time even a medical professional attended a meeting with a parent.
There are many sites you can access on line to help you. Here are a few to start you out:
http://www.advocatesforchildren.org/
http://www.advocatesforchildren.org/pubs/ei.html
http://cochlearimplantonline.com/site/?p=3582 ( I know this is for the hard of hearing but the info is good for all ifsp/iep meetings!)
http://www.wrightslaw.com/
There is even an app (although I have never tried it) for the IEP checklist: http://www.peatc.org/peatc.cgim?template=IEPChecklistiPhone
2. These documents are legally binding. Although you can request to reconvene if you feel your child's needs are not being met, the annual IFSP/IEP meeting is your chance to make sure your voice is heard as well as your child's educators, providers, etc. As a teacher I have had times when a parent has disagreed with something I have felt. Let me assure you...I do not hold it against parents who avail themselves of their rights. As a mom I am doing the same for my child. All I suggest is you measure your ideas of what is best with the evidence before you. Some parents have fought for more services...some for less. The only times I have felt concerned was when it was obvious the parents were more concerned about the words "special education" than what a child needed. The good thing is that example is the rarity...most families strive to get the best for their children!
3. Go in prepared. Bring in evaluations, medical notes, written communications with educators, and whatever else you have that provides an accurate snapshot of your child's abilities and needs.
4. Don't be afraid to ask questions! This is your child's future and you have every reason to ask any and all questions you may have. Many parents feel intimidated by the amount of information thrown at them. I try to break my words down into non "teacher lingo" but not all teachers do that. Asking questions now can help you avoid being angry or upset with results later.
Now to talk about the process:
1. You will sign an attendance sheet stating you were present.
2. You will speak to providers, coordinators, psychologists or any other professional who is involved with your child. You will discuss the results of evaluations and these professionals will ask you questions about your child.
3. You will collaborate on goals pertaining to your child. Make sure you read through these. Many parents thumb through them and later are upset about a particular goal. If you find something a little "off" about a goal, now is the ideal time to discuss this.
4. Services will be assigned as needed.
5. When the meeting is over, a copy of the new IFSP/IEP will either be made for you or sent to you.
When you break it down...these meetings are not as overwhelming as they seem. It’s all about preparation and willingness to communicate. In the end you walk away with a tool to help your child reach his or her highest potential!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Thoughts for the PDD NOS families out there
It's funny...here I am the woman who always has an opinion and a loud voice to carry it forward and I find myself strangely without words. I had so many thoughts and ideas about what I wanted to say in this blog and yet I find my thoughts hijacked. By a case...by a child...by what I feel is a travesty.
For one moment I just want to say a few words about my feelings on the Casey Anthony verdict and then I promise to devote this post to the issue I came here to write about...raising a child with PDD NOS.
I didn't follow the trial. I didn't want to cater to the way the media sensationalizes the heartbreak of others. I could see that the murder charges would be hard to stick due to evidence that some could find lacking. But the idea that she was found not guilty of the child neglect charges breaks my heart. If my daughter is out of my sight for a moment my world stops. How anyone could not report their daughter missing and party all the while is beyond comprehension. I, along with millions, mourn the loss of justice for a little girl to a flaw in the system. I hope people will go to http://www.change.org and sign the Caylee's Law petition.
Ok having gotten that off my chest lets start with some thoughts that popped into my head about what I have learned so far in this journey of raising a daughter with PDD NOS.
The reason I began this blog is that I feel that families with high functioning PDD NOS children are in a sort of limbo. I belong to Autism related forums and I feel almost guilty posting about what I feel are my child's issues when I read a post about a non verbal 8 year old. But when I walk through the mall with my daughter and see a child talking away at a similar age to my girl I realize I feel a longing for that. So where do I turn? I believe I am only one of many who feel this way.
If you have heard the letters PDD NOS for your child you know that it basically means a child shows some autistic tendencies but is atypical in other ways. Some children learn strategies to cope with these issues and lose their label along the way, at least officially. Others stay labeled the same while others are moved to different areas of the autistic spectrum. No matter how early you see the warning signs or how much EI you get there are no guarantees as to what will happen as your child gets older. Statistically speaking, the odds for positive outcomes in regards to any interventions your child receives tend to increase the earlier you seek them out.
If you haven't heard of PDD NOS or knew very little about it before don't feel bad...I am a special education teacher and my knowledge of this area of the spectrum was pretty limited. Until my baby was diagnosed at 15 months that is. Then my husband and I became Internet experts on the subject within hours.
That takes me to my first thought on this whole journey... be aware of all the facts and theories of your child's diagnosis but don't become a slave to your computer. I learned this the hard way. I am trying hard to wean myself away from over analyzing every movement and look my baby has. Sometimes reading all the info you can find helps. I found that when you let it overcome you...overwhelm the sense of fun and love you have for your child it becomes a dangerous road. I cried more as I read more. I laughed less. And in the end my daughter lost a part of me for a while. I am ashamed to admit that. I didn't know how to handle the fact that my little girl would have so many issues to face in her life now. Issues I had seen in other children...never thinking it would touch her life as well. All the research would help me cope...or so I thought. The truth is, the research isn't helping me anymore. If anything it is driving me to distraction. In the end I am a mom to a little angel. So I had to "X" out of the sites and spend more time playing with my baby girl.
Next don't be afraid to mourn the loss of "normalcy". No parent should feel ashamed for being depressed or angry about the fact your life changed in many ways with 6 letters. Some people try to tell me my life has not "really" changed. But it has. Starting next week my days will be filled with ABA sessions and speech therapy for my daughter. My schedule will revolve around hers even more than before. There are moments where I look to the heavens and ask...why her? I know I will never get an answer. But these thoughts led me to the one I hope to leave you with today... gratitude.
My daughter is highly functioning. During her evaluations one therapist said she had fantastic eye contact and social skills. She caught Ava on a great day. But the fact is Ava has those great days! There are days where she seems so close to where she should be. I think that makes the days where she ignores me harder somehow but I never lose that hope that tomorrow will be another of those great days. She is extremely intelligent...and that isn't just a mommy's bias. The psychiatrist who evaluated her reminded me that her intelligence and natural curiosity will help her immensely on this journey. She loves to cuddle when she is in the mood. There are some children with her diagnosis who don't show that emotion very often. I began to see those points of light when dark feelings started circling me. We all have those points of light. Each child has a joy that they bring to our lives. And when we hurt for them...with them..we need to seek that light out.
In the end we, as parents, owe it to our kids to be grateful for the good that we have no matter what challenges come our way. I feel better now that I stopped "researching" the miracle cures. I refused to let myself get caught up in the vaccination debates. I realized that the best way, for me that is, to help my girl was to start living life with her again and fighting each day to get every spark of language and connection I can from her. I am so lucky to have a husband who noticed the day to day issues she faced while I was at work. I am lucky to be educated and work as a teacher for students with special needs. I am grateful to have this knowledge which has helped me along this road. I walked into my IFSP meeting armed with what I needed to get the maximum amounts of ABA intervention and speech therapy. That meeting is where I will start off with the next time I write to you...
For now take my advice. X out of my blog and go play with your little one :) Let your fear subside for a while so you can enjoy that play. It's what I plan to do after she and I eat!
For one moment I just want to say a few words about my feelings on the Casey Anthony verdict and then I promise to devote this post to the issue I came here to write about...raising a child with PDD NOS.
I didn't follow the trial. I didn't want to cater to the way the media sensationalizes the heartbreak of others. I could see that the murder charges would be hard to stick due to evidence that some could find lacking. But the idea that she was found not guilty of the child neglect charges breaks my heart. If my daughter is out of my sight for a moment my world stops. How anyone could not report their daughter missing and party all the while is beyond comprehension. I, along with millions, mourn the loss of justice for a little girl to a flaw in the system. I hope people will go to http://www.change.org and sign the Caylee's Law petition.
Ok having gotten that off my chest lets start with some thoughts that popped into my head about what I have learned so far in this journey of raising a daughter with PDD NOS.
The reason I began this blog is that I feel that families with high functioning PDD NOS children are in a sort of limbo. I belong to Autism related forums and I feel almost guilty posting about what I feel are my child's issues when I read a post about a non verbal 8 year old. But when I walk through the mall with my daughter and see a child talking away at a similar age to my girl I realize I feel a longing for that. So where do I turn? I believe I am only one of many who feel this way.
If you have heard the letters PDD NOS for your child you know that it basically means a child shows some autistic tendencies but is atypical in other ways. Some children learn strategies to cope with these issues and lose their label along the way, at least officially. Others stay labeled the same while others are moved to different areas of the autistic spectrum. No matter how early you see the warning signs or how much EI you get there are no guarantees as to what will happen as your child gets older. Statistically speaking, the odds for positive outcomes in regards to any interventions your child receives tend to increase the earlier you seek them out.
If you haven't heard of PDD NOS or knew very little about it before don't feel bad...I am a special education teacher and my knowledge of this area of the spectrum was pretty limited. Until my baby was diagnosed at 15 months that is. Then my husband and I became Internet experts on the subject within hours.
That takes me to my first thought on this whole journey... be aware of all the facts and theories of your child's diagnosis but don't become a slave to your computer. I learned this the hard way. I am trying hard to wean myself away from over analyzing every movement and look my baby has. Sometimes reading all the info you can find helps. I found that when you let it overcome you...overwhelm the sense of fun and love you have for your child it becomes a dangerous road. I cried more as I read more. I laughed less. And in the end my daughter lost a part of me for a while. I am ashamed to admit that. I didn't know how to handle the fact that my little girl would have so many issues to face in her life now. Issues I had seen in other children...never thinking it would touch her life as well. All the research would help me cope...or so I thought. The truth is, the research isn't helping me anymore. If anything it is driving me to distraction. In the end I am a mom to a little angel. So I had to "X" out of the sites and spend more time playing with my baby girl.
Next don't be afraid to mourn the loss of "normalcy". No parent should feel ashamed for being depressed or angry about the fact your life changed in many ways with 6 letters. Some people try to tell me my life has not "really" changed. But it has. Starting next week my days will be filled with ABA sessions and speech therapy for my daughter. My schedule will revolve around hers even more than before. There are moments where I look to the heavens and ask...why her? I know I will never get an answer. But these thoughts led me to the one I hope to leave you with today... gratitude.
My daughter is highly functioning. During her evaluations one therapist said she had fantastic eye contact and social skills. She caught Ava on a great day. But the fact is Ava has those great days! There are days where she seems so close to where she should be. I think that makes the days where she ignores me harder somehow but I never lose that hope that tomorrow will be another of those great days. She is extremely intelligent...and that isn't just a mommy's bias. The psychiatrist who evaluated her reminded me that her intelligence and natural curiosity will help her immensely on this journey. She loves to cuddle when she is in the mood. There are some children with her diagnosis who don't show that emotion very often. I began to see those points of light when dark feelings started circling me. We all have those points of light. Each child has a joy that they bring to our lives. And when we hurt for them...with them..we need to seek that light out.
In the end we, as parents, owe it to our kids to be grateful for the good that we have no matter what challenges come our way. I feel better now that I stopped "researching" the miracle cures. I refused to let myself get caught up in the vaccination debates. I realized that the best way, for me that is, to help my girl was to start living life with her again and fighting each day to get every spark of language and connection I can from her. I am so lucky to have a husband who noticed the day to day issues she faced while I was at work. I am lucky to be educated and work as a teacher for students with special needs. I am grateful to have this knowledge which has helped me along this road. I walked into my IFSP meeting armed with what I needed to get the maximum amounts of ABA intervention and speech therapy. That meeting is where I will start off with the next time I write to you...
For now take my advice. X out of my blog and go play with your little one :) Let your fear subside for a while so you can enjoy that play. It's what I plan to do after she and I eat!
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